Testimony

"Life is a roller coaster, magnificently planned and structure."

This is a story... of well my testimony... on why i am who i am today...
not my acadamic or relational pursuits, but my spiritual one.

I was born into a Buddhist family with some exceptions, taught to pray at the altar and chant using the 108 bead rosary.
Life as a kid was simple... and i must say i think i was pretty spoilt, demanding the latest lego toys, always wanting to go to the playground and play, free from all the academic stress of schooling life.
Life continued on and i believe when i reached the kindergarten years, my sister started bringing me to church. You may be confused my now... but well my sister was a Christian and she was brought to Christ by my uncle...
At that time i couldn't sense the tension building up, however i do remember my mum constantly questioning me whether i was a Christian or a Buddhist. My constant reply was always that i was a Buddhist.
Now if something hadn't changed... i wouldn't be a Christian now would I?
Well i guess it happened sometime during Sunday School. Somehow... the notion that someone died for our wrong doings... really appealed to me then. Abstract as it may seem, to a kid knowing he has constantly done wrong, really wants to be forgiven. Forgiven for our sins... what a great thought indeed... somehow during that period i came to accept Christ as my Lord and Savior and i can still remember my mum's stunned face when I told her I was a Christian. I vaguely remember my mum asking me to hold joysticks and kowtow towards the east or something the next day...
Was my christian walk after that smooth sailing? Obviously not i guess... the best word to decribe my walk... even now is a rollercoaster.
In primary school, my sister met her catholic boyfriend and eventual husband in NUS. Now to those unfamiliar... Catholic, protestant relationships are highly discouraged, due to well certain customs and doctrines i guess? So well, i stopped going to church then. Boy was this to complicated for my immature mind to comprehend.
A few years later, in 97, my cousin Daniel invited me for his church camp in NUS. And during the church camp something special happened indeed... i was touched by the holy spirit. The feeling i must say is overwhelming... a sense of peace and calmness... yet also a sense of overflowing happiness... undescribable by human words i must say.
So eventually i joined Aldersgate Methodist Church(AMC). The Sunday School, which is held at FMPS. I stayed on for 2 years but eventually once again left when i was in primary 5. Why you may ask? I seriously have no idea, maybe due to sloth? Maybe because i thought God was unfair, putting me in the last class. However, looking back now, those 2 years in 5/6H were probably the most character enriching years. I don't think I'll forget that class.
During those 2 years... there was always a constant prompting trying to bring me back to church. My great friend Jason always invited me to go to his church when we slept over at his house. So life continued and i eventually left HPPS with 238.
Now i must say that is a magical number. Because it allowed me to go to Fairfield Methodist Secondary School. No other score would have gotten me to FMSS in my opinion. And even on the 1st day I step into fairfield... something my principal said really struck me.
"In fairfield, no one comes here by chance, you are all here because God intended you to be"
Pretty amazing rite? lol. Anyways the most remarkable thing was that withing the 1st week of school. My ex-churchmates from Aldersgate saterted bumping into me. Desmond.. andre... sadly i'd forgotten them... but well, it served as a soft prompting to bring me back to AMC.
Little people know it even today... but when they had those evangelical sessions in Fairfield and gave out those slips i would write AMC as my church.
Now how did i get back to AMC? Well its thanks to Kevin Lam, my sec 1 - 3 classmate. Somehow i'm still amazed how he could so frankly invite people to church, people such as Edwin White also. I guess i really have to thank him for it.
It was a pushing step, but i was really never involved in participating actively in church. One sermon that struck me was the one which likened church participation to that of an orange. Where i was at was stuck on the orange peel, not able to enjoy the juicy inside.
Well... my alienated presense was soon to be changed, by the annual church camp to Genting, Malaysia. It was really something like a spiritual refresher and i really got to know others in my church, such as Joanne, Diana, Ray, Kristal... all in my camp group... I even remember playing polar bear on the coach ride for hours.
From there i eventually got to know more and more people in my church...
Really amazing how Christ wanted me to go back to him isn't it. Some people may think this is a foolish thought due to mere 'coincidences' but well... i noe what i should noe i guess? haha
Well now my spiritual walk is continuing... somehow it has taken sort of a backfoot because of As... hmmmm may I find the wisdom to prioritise wisely.

Gosh this is qutie a long post i must say.

Life a week to the end of a half...

College day ended... screwed up... 3 notes haha...
Anyways points to note... shift file into Field of View. Look Up. And Listen.

Some points I have been pondering... do things of the past really come back and haunt us? Mistakes made... promises broken... they somehow manage to cling on to us, reminding us of our dastardly past. The success of our past may drive us also... yet they may be dangerous pitfalls due to the air of arrogance it is usually associated with.
If things were unripe then... would they be ripe now? Somehow I think you find things you have little or no intension of finding. Living by the flow is living smoothly, but once you reach the rapids, you sure wish you've gotten out of the river. Rapids though constantly turmulous, carries with it a certain sense of enjoyment, fun, love...
Ironic to say the very least....

Focus is really what i need now... certain things i can put on the backfoot now...
my top 3 priorities now are...

1)God
2)Family and Friends
3)Studies

Wondering about Wonderful things i think...

LIfe as it is....

Blogging because someone asked me to... ha.

Today bio was quite cool, and could tell zach lim was a little gan cheong... anyways what i learnt today during bio is that if ur ring finger is longer than ur index finger, u have a high amount of testosterone in ur body.

It is the 5th day without my parents... Surviving but life is really different without them, hui lin said her burden is shared between her brothers and her. Mine is my bro and me but as we are both out of the house for close to 12 hours a day... there leaves much to be done. 5 days more...

I think i another quote came to me again... haha those interested please feel free to ask... my qoutes can only be said by word of mouth :)

LIfe as it is....

Blogging because someone asked me to... ha.

Today bio was quite cool, and could tell zach lim was a little gan cheong... anyways what i learnt today during bio is that if ur ring finger is longer than ur index finger, u have a high amount of testosterone in ur body.

It is the 5th day without my parents... Surviving but life is really different without them, hui lin said her burden is shared between her brothers and her. Mine is my bro and me but as we are both out of the house for close to 12 hours a day... there leaves much to be done. 5 days more...

I think i another quote came to me again... haha those interested please feel free to ask... my qoutes can only be said by word of mouth :)

LIfe as it is....

Blogging because someone asked me to... ha.

Today bio was quite cool, and could tell zach lim was a little gan cheong... anyways what i learnt today during bio is that if ur ring finger is longer than ur index finger, u have a high amount of testosterone in ur body.

It is the 5th day without my parents... Surviving but life is really different without them, hui lin said her burden is shared between her brothers and her. Mine is my bro and me but as we are both out of the house for close to 12 hours a day... there leaves much to be done. 5 days more...

I think i another quote came to me again... haha those interested please feel free to ask... my qoutes can only be said by word of mouth :)

40DoP

40DoP is over! Well... it't the beggining of something new i guess?
Lessons learnt... or relearnt more like it. the Book got me through my 1st 3 months of AC, making those 3 months simply unforgettable. Names may fade, but experiences are etched forever.

Worship, Dicipleship, Ministry, Evangelism... shouldn't there be 5?

Anyways, talked to my mei for 2 hours 39 mins. Thank God for free incoming, otherwise, the phone bill would have killed me since it was an overseas call.
Mei, remember you are accountable for tt thing... will tell u in due time... hopefully.

CT results were below expectations i guess? but well... can't say i did badly or some ppl will flare up... the result of the competitive education system, no human-created system is perfect i guess...

Things which we say, really may have bigger implications in one's life. Better watch what you say... yet your actions speak louder than words. Ironically, words hurt deeper than any physical hurt. There are always many ways/angles to view an issue, to most people, the correct view is that accepted by the majority... the stereotype.
The biggest flaw of our education system i guess... is the stereotpying of the vastness of one's cognitive ability.

Anyways this entry has rather random ramblings, rectifying rousing reserved thoughts.

May i do things right in his sight, thank God for Jun Ming's testimony.

40 DoP

40 days of purpose ahead... swill be back on 16th april!

23rd Feb

Due to the safety of the people involved in this following incident (and their jobs) Names will not be mentioned:

My day started off normally going for class late because of my excessive swabbing of my clarinet. Pass the bookshop i bumped by my J1 Civics tutor before a lurking psychopath crept behind him. Walking passed her... her shrill voice entrenched me in a state of shock... her demeanour was nice and sweet... hiding the concoction of bimbotic behaviour and warped joy from the mishap of others.

Just because of a minor insignificant attire problem of a stupid badge. And of saying the word shoot. I had to submit my EZ-link to her and retrieve it after i have gotten the badge. For the infomation of people not from my school... the badge is the most fragile piece of metal ever created by the oh-so-great productions of my school (maths lecture binder). Quality products i must say...

Thank God I've got a great Civics tutor! She help me get the EZ-link back in due time... Thanks to the badge... I'm perfectly broke... ate chicken rice for lunch and what was left of my wallet were 2 pathetic 5 cent coins.

Eventful day.... SPA was quite screwed... but hopefully won't do too badly... momentum screwed from the lurker....

40 Days of Purpose

Noticed that my blog entries are pretty meaningless... so i hope this entry proves otherwise.

Ever wondered what ur purpose in life was? living your day... just completing tutorials, assignments, studying for exams and tests. Indulging in leisure activities which add little value to ur life... building relationships... merely acquittances rather than life-long friendships. There must be more than this... curious to find out?

Well my church is having 40 Days of Purpose! Going through Rick Warren's Purpose Driven Life. If you are free on saturdays... please tell me asap! Orientation Sunday is coming up on the 26th of Feb... so sign up at before that day preferbly.

Reflecting... a meaningful life may have different meanings to different people. A similar discussion was held in GP last year, just that the topic was on success. Many reasons poped out, such as being rich, climbing high in the coporate ladder, raising a family well. Many reasons brought up involved measurements of successes based on marks of measurements which can be seen. Is is only our culture which breeds the stereotype that things can only be measured by what can be measured visibly?

Sure... scientific theories are based on observations from the results of their expereriment. Deductions based on logical thoughts. Yet on the otherhand... religion is based from scriptures, anecdotes and traditions. Religious experiences leave little room for observations as many experiences are supernatural... beyond the realm of scientific comprehension. Are some people really too afraid to place their faith in things unseen?

Food for thought...

8 qualities

Van tagged me.... my blog quite empty so here it goes

The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover.
Need to mention the sex of the target.
Tag 8 victims to join this game & leave a comment on their page saying they've been tagged.
If tagged the 2nd time, theres no need to post again.

qualities:
1) Able to communicate well we me... a relationship without understanding wouldn't go very far... and communication is key is solving relational problems.
2) Able to understand me and accept me for well me... haha few have seen the other side of me... and few understand me for who i am
3) Looks wise... must be chio... haha jk... chio girls mostly have a higher ego... so looks really dun bother me, decent looking would be fine.
4) A girl who really shines on the inside... in terms of character and spirit
5) A girl who can control her tongue... unlike those who talk in excess... bitch in excess ... doesn't noe when is enough.
6) Some one who is neat and tidy... because i'm probably the most unorganised person in Singapore!
7) Have a motherly touch and love... I want my kids to grow up in a homely environment.
8)A girl who loves me. not just the emotion... but the love which is more than that.

Tt's it i guess... wun tag anyone... lazy to think of names...

Life Update:
Ever summmounting homework, irregular sleeping intervals, distracted... losing my way.
Guess 40DoP is where i shall rediscover my purpose.

GZ/HK trip

Okies... it's 2 days after touching down on Singapore. My homework is still 0% complete and i think i'm dead on tuesday. Anyways.... here's the GZ/HK trip

21st. reached NJC at about 6 am, took a cab down, lucky still under $10. Met edo 1st before boyang came. Alot of little matters before we started moving everything out of the band room and to the lorry.
Got onto the bus and left for the airport. Reaching there, unload changed and posed for the group photo.
On the plane i was sitting beside joanne and samuel, regina was across the aisle.
Watched the movie GOAL. But started watching in 30mins in so didn't catch much ball. Alvin Leong was telling Mrs Lim that we were all very suaku. I pity Kirby, sat in between lol... shan'll mention any names.

Touched down at the airport and rushed straight to GDUFS concert hall for a rehersal which was super rushed. Sideread Shenandoah for the concert. Think it was an okay concert overall. I do get some magical feeling when playing with the NIE band, maybe becoz they are more confident or something liddat? Not sure... anyways went back to the hotel and slept. Craig said he wasn't going to bathe... kena stunned. lucky got no odour. Dinner was full of vegetables.

On the 2nd day craig waked me up. Slacked in the morning before going to beijing street to search for stuff to buy, didn't get anything in the end. Saw an 'an quan kao' machine on the way, quite funny.
Afternoon went for some exchange with some conservertory uni. The players there are pro la. Play like no kick liddat. Their notes changing was artivulate and precise, their tone melodious, mellow, round and dark, the music they played moved the tinkle in your soul, there was just something magical about them. Had an exhange with their clarinet tutor, we didn't interact much with the players though, sad. Think clarinets are too big. After exhange went back for dinner before leaving halfway to go to some shoe shop. Alas it was closed and we took a cab down to some square. Forgot the name of it. Got some sports shoes and saw the bargaining skills of Karwai in action. Cabbed back to the hotel. Went to yanru's room and samuel's room before going to sleep.

3rd day. Woke up super early, packed in 15 mins and went to the lobby. Boarded the bus for the ride to Hong Kong. Saw some really dirty chinese crowds there. Now i noe where our 'kiasuness' and bad habits come from, out roots!

Got pics for the next few days, so shall post them instead of typing. (the 1st few days kept forgetting to take out my cam)

Church camp...

Back from church camp! Encounter weekend : Faith, I'm living it!

Lets start off with the 1st day, I arrived at about 12 and join those who were there for lunch. Tried the new western stall in dover, fish and chips were soso.
After that registered with audio consent form which was pretty unique. Slacked around in the sanctuary until it was games!

Games were pretty sick, though there was only 2 of them. Captain's Ball with Bananas, Brocolli, Soap and Water Balloons. Lance splattered one banana straight into my shorts! sick.... got other bananas splattering after that. Jessie was an innocent bystander who got splattered by a shower of banana goo.
The 2nd game was scissors paper stone on chairs and we had fun butting each other.

I left at 4 for band prac... the band is improving, however the standard is just not as good as it was. Hope we'll pick up by the 21st. We have 17 days left, and i do hope band peeps realise it. We need to work hard, we can no longer be mediocre in our playing. Music is a form of expression, our form of expression, may our music evoke emotions of those listening! Stayed back for NIE practice, missed the last mrt train. Lucky Si Xun's dad sent me home, of not i would have died. Reached home at 1230 in the morning... just slept straight.

Next morning woke up about 8, packed my bad and rushed to church. They were having their prayer walk and after dumping my bag in the scented boys dorm, i joined my cous for the prayer walk. After that was worship and sermon. Missed the 1st one on friday night. Anyways, this are my notes from the sermon:

Faith - Real or Abstract?
->Response > Decision > Action
Obedience
growth

Response
Obedience
Persistence > enduring
Relational

Obedience of God in absence of outward things, obedience in response even when God's way seems dangerous

Abraham, Isaac, Paul

Sado Sunda Singh - carry our cross
enjot fast food, immediatecy > technology
endurance patience time
think? feel? emotion?

meet a challenge step by step (step of response). Persist
NATO

4)Faith as a relationship
great faith does not equal will power
correct theology, bad practice > sneak into pride
Pray > concerned about being faithful, not result, response, result
Faith in SOMEONE, Jesus
> reservation of a lesser fact, acceptance of a greater fact and God is a greater fact.

Faith is out obedient response to the God who reveals himseld and his way for us, persisting in our outward and inward pbedience. Come what may because we have a relationship with Jesus
Keep at it
natured with real relationship with Jesus

5Rs
Remember God's promises
having the message
reveal the truth
faith power love
balance
Real Relationship
Reminds us of God's promises
Witness of the Saints
fallable?
Recall past faith experiences
fact of miracle?
Reorder your priorities, don't carry excess baggage
confess. Useless priorities 1/2 hearted.
real faith, real action
Refined by fire
Pain, discomfort
choice- every consious moment victory/suffering
easy faith or sacrificial
Respondeach time God asks me to.

Scripture Reading:Heb 10 - 12, Rom 10:17, 1 Pet 1:6-7, Heb 12: 1 - 7

That was the 1st sermon i went for. Had a pcgm outing after that, we took forever to get to IMM, ate long john silvers, i seem to have some affinity in that place, really eat there alot of times. Went to a bookshop and then to watsons before cabbing back to church.
Slacked around before the 2nd set of games.
Chair moving, blindfold, foot foot and the sprinting one. Had mass water bombings after that. Washed up and returned to the room to watch the episode of Lego... super funny. Dinner after that and the food was fabulous, love Kevin's Mum's cooking. Sermon after that, had a nice warm circle sitting with some heartfelt sharing, God works in amazing ways, and when it just clicks it your head and you come to a sudden realisation, it really is pretty mind blowing. Anyways here are the notes for the

2nd session:

Water walking
only alternative to boredom stagnation Mat 14
qualities - yearns for something greater than himself
yard stick - myself alone?
recognises the one in charge and ask for the command to join him
God initiates, we respond
look outside

Know the word of God! Living Word
thoughts seniors
Lily of the Valley
-learns to enjoy the valley and ultimately thrives in it
-has understood and excel in the near spiritual act in water walking
man in arena

after sermon was... Kevin's debut! As worship leader! His faith in the Lord is truly astonishing, and it is amazing how he reaches out to others and lives as a great testimony to the Lord!
We really rocked the place, it was until about 2am in the morning. Went to social hall after that to write some letters played the stupid no. finger game. and also niu nai with joanne lol. Childish... knocked out at about 5+, woke up at 7 and changed before going for a dover breakfast.
Service and Holy Communion was a faithful one as we all struggled through, still weary from out last nights tradition. After service ended we went bacj to the basement for a debrief, church camp was over after that.
Of course we went for a dover lunch, it is a Sunday!!!

5 random things...

Before i start... MEI Y ASK ME TO DO!?!?!
somehow there are ppl playing this game...the rules are below
Rules of the game:
1. Post 5 weird/random stuff about yourself.

1. I have 2 alarm clocks
2. I have a 3rd eye, and it is located on my right thumb
3. I have a sudden craving for sour skittles
4. I play Flyff and am currently a level 39 merc
5. The most embarrasing thing i have done is in nepal

Goodnight my Angel

Nice song heard at mg concert....
Lullaby

Band prac for next few days... just went out with my sec 4 class... nice to see them again, especially the guys

Talking...

I have been talking for almost 4 hours. A sore throat is developing...
My OP is approaching... there's a full day of prac the day after today.
I need Chicken Essence.

Reflections

Most people feel that we should always be forward-looking, and stop looking and reflecting about the things of the past, as they may chain u down... but well, everything one does affects his current situation one way or another.
This post is a tribute to the 1st year of my JC life:

It started off on 2nd jan... the 1st day of school in ACJC. Met with my fellow fairsians in the lobby before heading up to the hall for the beginning of orientation. The entrace of it was pretty grand, with the marching in of the banners, the announcer shouted the name of each Esprits(OGs) with zest!
My OGL cherie called the day earlier and told me i was in Galbeth of the Cavalon Grendalis. When we got into our group, there was only 1 other fairsian with me, clara. It took until the 3rd day for my OGL to really bond. But well, my OGL was great, we even won some voucher thing.

When the class posting results were out, none of my OG mates got into the same class as me. So well, start alone again. This time though, there was another fairsian, johnny. SC4 is a truly unforgettable class. Heard that there's gonna be another class outing soon, mite join them. Wasn't used to the class at 1st becoz of 'unique' characters. But after we geled, things got very fun. Did alot of crappy things, and talked about crappy things. Practicals were always screwed thanks to *ahem* Wayne. And tutorials were never dull... oh the carefree moments of the 1st 3 months.

I also joined band... again. Yups, though i wouldn't join but still did in the end. Think i quitted band for a short period before joining back haha. Anyways, these guys in ACJCCB are really a group of talented musicians. The music they make is in one word, beautiful. Alot of talented players and probably 2 of the best student conductors i have ever been under. AC Band was really something which caused me to have a delimma while choosing which school to apply for my JAE. Guess there were certain pull and push factors. Definitely though, those three months were fruitful periods of my music (clarinet) life. Still played for their MUSE concert even after coming to NJC.

Alas my O level results came and i applied for NJC as my 1st choice. Choosing to leave the company of some truly great people...

Entering NJC... the orientation was in 1 word... CRAP. Sorry to say this, but organisation was terrible. I practically did NOTHING for the 1st day and ponned halfway. And for the subequent days, ponned them also. 1st impressions do count, and this affirmed the negative comments made by some of my AC seniors. Why did i choose to come to NJ?

When i 1st walked into my class 05S19, i was in for quite a surprise. They were actually quite a lively group of people. We even played whacko on the 1st day. Thinking about it, quite a funny sight... I'm very grateful to be in S19 I guess, because, there isn't alot of politics really, though it is infested with scandals!

Lessons wise... Physics and Maths are better than those in AC. however, bio was slightly lower standard, though limitless facts to memorise. Chemistry is worse, must say i kinda miss my 1st 3 months chem teacher, Ms Ng, she was a good tutor...

Time passed and once again, slowly geled together and the backrow guys got closer together, majority of 2nd intakers i think :p. Aravin was a 'slacker' but his work was somehow always done... thus i infered that he was and still is a closet mugger! They are always good fun to crap with, though not the same way as my 1st 3 months class. And yea, my class has a large porportion of females, unlike SC4, where the ratio was about 3 boys : 1 girl. But well, 4A has prepared me for this overwhelming porportion of girls lol...

Before i knew it, the 1st semester was over...

to be continued...

Band-it! Concert.

Gotta get this out of my system...

just read eng hong's blog and i gotta agree with what he said.
"When you promote the concert, promote all those things like the rock group and western dance all these exciting things, then mention that band is playing."

That bloody statement really pissed me off...
Its a Band-it concert! as in BAND. People who make music using their instruments.
If we are raising the money for the trip, aren't we confident enough of ourselves that we let people enjoy our music? Sure we ain't as strong as before, but it'll still be good rite?

Yes its pretty cool that the choir peeps are singing for 2 songs... but for us to play at such a pathetic volume, must as well get a CD player and play the musical accompliment. They have bloody mics!!! I seriously think you don't need much logic to figure out that we don't need to play so softly as to hear them sing.

If we are suppose to promote our concert. Why can't we promote straight as a band concert with special appearances by western dance and the rock band?

Anyways... promoting the concert:

Band-it! Concert
4 November 2005
7.00pm
Lecture theatre 5
Tix at $6 only!

Loyalties...

Issit a CCA or a class where stronger bonds are forged?
I really wonder...
Class, we mostly just well do work... and see each other, talk crap. Thankfully though i have been blessed always with classmates who r well more than just classmates.
In band though... i must say it is in an experience on its own. Nowhere else can one suffer so much together, perservere together and overcome together. Many memories, good and bad has well... nurtured me. I guess in JC, only those who r devoted will perservere. Life is though in band.

Trust so easily broken... bloody betrayal... bloody lips

After promos

Well... guess now nothing to do but waste my time away... can tell rite? I'm blogging.
anyways, think i got myself addicted to survival project. Argh.... noooooooo... but hey it's fun.
Met bel and nabi today, long time never see them le, really hope they'll do well for their O lvls.
I need to get my hair cut soon...
Should visit grandpa at AH....
maybes start writing some stuff... yea... stop wasting time

penning down thoughts....

GP and chinese

2 papers down... 4 to go....
chinese is screwed, gp is just as screwed...

Wat a bloody quote they gave it when the true meaning of life to Wilde was individualism...