Corrections for paper 1

packing/throwing my room away. I'm moving house soon!
Anyways found this is my rooom...

Corrections for Paper 1
Cinderella: The True Story

Many of you think you know the real story of Cinderella, however, it is not the truth. This is how it really goes(went, bad grammer in sec 1) ...

Cinderella was an orphan living in the "Little Brats Orphanage". As She was the oldest, at the age of 16, she was forced by the evil Matron to do all the chores. Cinderella had the thought of taking her life away. But refrained from it as she did not want to upset her younger friends at the orphanage. Sadly, Cinderella could take no more and was prepared to slash her throat. Fortunately Mrs Jones adopted her straught away (I'm wondering how i wrote her into the story)

Cinderella moved to Mrs Jone's house the next day. She was mesmorized upon seeing the massive size of Mrs Jones' mansion and courtyard. Jones was a career-minded single woman and due to loniness, she loved Cinderella with all her heart. In Cinderella's eyes, Mrs Jones was the greatest adopted mom. ( you can adopt a mother?)

One day, while strolling by the mansion's pond. She saw a wonderfully handsome frog in the pond and kissed it due to her uneducated mind. She was immediately transported to a bed in an eerie castle in the middle of nowhere and since the frog's mouth was coated with sleeping juice(sleeping frog breed) , she fell asleep.

A hundred... minutes passed when a prince entered the castle and saw Cinderella, he decided to make love to her due to her uncomparable beauty(horny in sec 1 liao... haiz) Upon approaching, Cinderella woke up and slapped him, cursing him about his soon to be done action. Since she like him anyway, they got married and lived happily ever after... for twenty years since... well thats another story.

Red are my comments.... my gosh sec 1... Didn't know how terrible my english was. Quite fun to find old things... anyways, back to packing!